Facts
- Dating Violence affects one in four teens. This type of abuse is not just physical, but it is emotional abuse also.
- Yelling, threatening, name calling, extreme possessiveness, and obsessive phone calling or texting, are all a phase of Dating Violence.
- You Are a Victim of Dating Violence if you are going out with someone who… is jealous and possessive, won’t let you have friends, and checks up on you or won’t accept breaking up?
- Tries to control you by being bossy, giving orders, making all the decisions, or not taking your opinion seriously?
- Puts you down in front of friends or tells you that you would be nothing without him/her?
- Is violent? Has a history of fighting, loses his temper quickly, brags about mistreating you or others? Grabs, pushes, shove, or hit you?
- Scares you? Makes you worry about reaction to things you say or do? Threatens you? Uses or owns weapons?
- Pressures you for sex or is forceful or scary about sex? Gets too serious about the relationship too fast?
- Makes your family and friends uneasy and concerned for your safety?
- Abuses alcohol or other drugs and pressures you to use them?
- Believes that he or she should be in control of the relationship?
If you answered yes to any of these questions, it is possible that you are a victim of Dating Violence or Abuse. Both males and females in heterosexual or homosexual relationships can experience dating violence or abuse.
- Get out of abusive relationships? Don’t put up with the abuse. You deserve better!
- Know that you are not alone. Teens from all over the country of all different economical and ethnic backgrounds have been involved in a violent relationship.
- Understand that you have done nothing wrong. It is not your fault.
- Know that the longer you stay in the abusive relationships, the more intensive the violence will become.
- Talk with your parents, a friend, counselor, a faith or spiritual leader, or someone else you trust. The more isolated you are from your friends and family, the more control your abuser has over you.
- Alert a school counselor or security officer about the abuse.
- Avoid being alone at school, your job, on the way to and from places and anywhere else he/she might have access to you.
- Always tell someone where you going and when you plan to be back.
- Know that you can get help from professionals at rape crisis centers, health services, counseling centers, your family health care provider, or a local clinic.
- Remember that no one is justified in attacking you just because she or he is angry.
- Do not meet him/her alone. Do NOT let him/her in your home, car, or near you when you are alone.
- Being a Friend to A Victim of Dating Violence. Most teens talk to other teens about their problems. If a friend tells you things that sound like his/her relationship is abusive, here are some suggestions or some ways to help: Don’t ignore signs of abuse. Talk to your friend.
- Express your concerns. Tell your friend that your worried about him/her. Support, do not judge.
- Point out your friends strengths- many people in abusive relationships suffer from low self-esteem. Remind them of their talents, abilities, and gifts.
- Encourage your friend to confide in a trusted adult. Offer to go with the friend for professional help.
- Find out what laws may protect you friend from the abuser.
- Never put yourself in a dangerous situation with the victims partner. Don’t try to mediate, or get directly involved.
- Call the police if you witness an assault. Tell and adult- school principal, guidance counselor, or school resource officer- if you suspect the abuse but don’t witness it.
- Take Action! Educate teens and adults in your community. Start a peer education program on teen and dating violence.